You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
