Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
It's official drugs can't kill me
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
