Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
