omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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