Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize