He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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