Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
