Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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