I am puke
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
