Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
