I don't usually arrange sex via text message
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize