he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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