thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Randomize
