just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
