there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
