brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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