Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
