FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Randomize
