I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
