Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Don't make out with my wife yet
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
