i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
