I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize