So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
