That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
