i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
