love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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