This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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