Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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