my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize