I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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