I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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