i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
