ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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