Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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