It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
