On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
