Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize