I bet he comes in French.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
