did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
