We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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