i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
