I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
