he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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