he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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