Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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