can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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