I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
