I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
