hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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