I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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