last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
