dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
