Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
