i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
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