He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
