i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
