the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Randomize
