I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He better not be in your backpack
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
