I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Randomize
