I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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