His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I believe in your delicious
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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