she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
