Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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