you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
